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Home is Where the Heart is? Deciding if You Should Become a Stay-At-Home Mom

19 Apr
Home is Where the Heart is? Deciding if You Should Become a Stay-At-Home Mom

One of the most heart wrenching moments for most working moms is that day when you have to return to your job after maternity, leaving your baby at a daycare. Ugh! (insert scream here).  It does not matter if it is your first baby or your fifth baby, going back to work at that moment can be downright agonizing. Besides, being home healing from the delivery process and caring for your newborn baby can provide a much needed escape from your work environment. Who could not get use to 6-8 weeks at home (hopefully WITH pay)? Nice, right? That is a BIG DEAL in itself, but the bigger deal is that you get to be THERE for your child. THERE to take them to their doctors’ appointments, THERE to feed them, THERE to rock them to sleep, THERE to watch them laugh, etc. You get my point, right?

Deciding whether or not to work outside the home is a huge decision. In fact, it’s one of the most challenging decisions you may ever have to make. I have once before gone through the difficult process of making the decision to stay at home, and have also counseled with several women as they have toiled over making the same decision. I’m not naive. I know that this is a touchy issue among women. I am not here to debate either side. As a mom, I have both stayed at home and worked outside the home full-time. I can tell you that neither is easy. I choose not to judge either woman by their decision as to whether or not they work outside their home. I know great moms that stay at home and great moms that don’t. Ok, now that we have that cleared up, here are some factors to look at when determining if you will stay home.

Choice– I heard a great quote that says, “Life is choice driven. You live and die by the choices you make.” So true! Life is full of choices. Every choice has a price that you should evaluate upfront, and determine if you are willing to pay it. What price will you pay if you work inside the home full-time? Will it cost you a lessened household income that you feel would be financially detrimental right now? If so, are you willing to pay the price to restructure your budget, cut out some two income luxuries, and set new financial priorities? Are you willing to pay the price of discipline to pay down debt? NOTE: Deciding to stay home does NOT mean you have to take an oath of poverty. Remember, YOUR thinking determines YOUR living. Who says you will have to struggle to stay afloat just because you are not working outside the home full-time?  Even if someone else experienced at financial struggle when they left their job doesn’t mean that you will. Sure, challenges will come, but challenges come when you work outside the home, too! You have to trust God and walk by faith either way. Put a comprehensive financial plan in place and work the plan.

Agreement– Does your spouse agree that you being home is the right thing to do right now? If he doesn’t agree, don’t do it! Coming home without his agreement will only irritate him and put you in a position to have to constantly prove yourself to him. Agreement gives you creative power! You can accomplish more if you are on the same team than if you are fighting against each other. If your spouse does not agree right now, WAIT prayerfully and abstain from constant nagging and complaining about it. Search for creative ways to demonstrate to him how much more enhanced your lives would be if you were home.

Prepare– Make a plan for a smooth transition.  Maybe the time isn’t right for you to be home right now, but it is more advantageous to do it in the near future. Create a plan that you can work towards. Will you transition into part time work before coming home full-time? Will you run a home based business? If so, what steps can you take now to get that set up so that the transition home will be easy? In most cases, coming home isn’t something you want to do suddenly. You must prepare. Preparation days are never wasted days!

Purpose– What will be your purpose for being home? Defining your purpose or compelling reason why you are home will help you stick it out for the long haul. How long will you be home? Is it until the kids get a certain age or grade? What are your spouse’s expectations of you? Have a REAL talk about this one. There are lots of myths about being at home. Read my blog on the Top 4 Myths About Stay at Home Moms. It will help you set some realistic goals and expectations.

Supermom Tip– Are you thinking about making the transition to become a stay at home mom? Don’t make an emotional decision. When the emotion wears off, you will still have to live with your decision. Pray about it. Talk about it. Research it. Decisions like this take time. Don’t rush into it.

Let me hear from YOU. What are your thoughts on this blog? I love hearing from you!

Thank you for reading my blog. If you think it is helpful, please share it with others via your social networking sites and e-mail list. Go to comments, and look for the sharing options on this blog. I appreciate you!

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7 Comments

Posted by on April 19, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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7 responses to “Home is Where the Heart is? Deciding if You Should Become a Stay-At-Home Mom

  1. Charolett Hollowell

    April 20, 2012 at 12:22 pm

    Great blog!!

     
    • SUPERmom Decoded

      April 20, 2012 at 12:24 pm

      Thank you for taking the time to read it and comment.

       
  2. Heather H.

    April 29, 2012 at 8:56 am

    This article is very practical & very inspirational. I had a rough time going back to work after our 2nd daughter was born. There are so many times I have to miss out on activities of my kids due to work. I have an inner battle of wanting to be a stay at home mother & wanting to pursue a career.

     
  3. LoveDesignLife

    December 7, 2012 at 7:32 pm

    I did not stay home right away. I actually went back to work, however by the time he was ready to go to school, I had pretty much decided that I needed to be home. In his first year of school, I was racing back and forth on the freeway to pick him when there was an accident and I was very late getting him. I cried and cried thinking that he would be so scared and worried that all the other car riders had gone and he was still waiting. When I got there he was as cool as a cucumber. I asked him if he was scared and he said “no mommy, I knew you were coming” I cried some more cause I could have been the wreck on the freeway. After that it was a no brainer. I started my own business with just one significant client, my savings and my fantastic portfolio and determination. That was 10 years ago. He is now 15 and it is singly the best decision I have ever made. He remembers me being a fixture at his school as I was in everything. PTA Prez, School Coucil Chairman, yearbook designer, you name it. It is a personal decision and I judge no one, but for me, it proved to be the only choice I could live with.

     
    • SUPERmom Decoded

      December 7, 2012 at 7:48 pm

      Excellent! Thanks for sharing.

       
      • LoveDesignLife

        December 7, 2012 at 7:53 pm

        You are welcome, Great article and thanks for the follow, I have returned the favor.

        Peace & Light

         
      • SUPERmom Decoded

        December 7, 2012 at 7:54 pm

        Thank you. I appreciate that!

         

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